trying

i keep repeating to myself in my head.

what's meant to be, will be.

i keep telling myself not to forget my promise. and its just a matter of time.

i'm honestly very happy for interdependent & bea.

but no matter how i smile it off. laugh it off. try and find joy in other things. at the end of the day i still revert back to reality. that i've been stopped in the middle of my path. the path that i've been working so hard to. there's no more steps to take. this is it. and sometimes i just can't swallow it.

so i go back to telling myself. there's a reason for everything. what's meant to be, will be. and maybe things will turn out better this way. i won't have to live under the shadows of the two memories i had the most problem letting go. to start life again on a clean slate. to live for me, and not for what could have been.

i'm really trying. so just give me time.

all i ask now is a hug and someone to hold my hand

love you ming

love you mel